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I recently listened to a wonderful talk by James Faust to BYU students in 2007 titled The Value of Self Esteem.  The title intrigued me. As a mom of 8 kids helping my kids have high self esteem is always on my mind.  I have gained weight because of a chronic health condition, because of that, my own self esteem has taken a big hit.

Listening to the talk by James Faust, I was so inspired! He introduced 6 keys to maintain healthy self esteem.  Those keys were so relevant to me and just what I needed to hear.  They were specific actionable things I can do and encourage my kids to do to.  I am so inspired that I want to share what I learned with you.

6 keys to maintain healthy self esteem

6 Keys to Maintain Healthy Self Esteem (inspired by a talk by James Faust 2007):

  1. Avoid habits and addictions that take away your freedom – Addictions and bad habits can take away our freedom and change our personality. Eliminating those things from our lives can improve our self esteem.
  2. Be humble – It seems strange to say that being humble helps to build your self esteem.  This is not talking about humility that makes us believe we are worthless or less than the people around us.  Humility that leads to healthy self esteem is the kind that leads us to know that we aren’t perfect.  It helps us acknowledge our imperfections therefore letting the world see who we really are.
  3. Be Honest – Recently we had a situation where something was damaged in our home and no one was admitting to it. My husband and I were pretty sure we knew who it was but we didn’t have any proof. So we didn’t say anything.  Over the next week, this child’s self esteem was visibly very low.  She slouched, looked down, and just looked like she wanted to fade away.  She wasn’t sleeping well and she was making herself sick.  Finally, I sat her down and told her I knew she was the one who did it. I explained that there was no punishment I could have given her that would be as bad as what she was going through. She confessed and we were able to have a good talk.  Once she got her secret out in the open she felt so much better and her self esteem went back up.  Being dishonest hurts us and we need to be honest in order to have a high self esteem.
  4. Work Hard – The feeling of completing a hard job is a wonderful feeling. Working hard raises our self esteem. Seeing our projects completed feels amazing. Even more than that, as my daughter shared in this post, you can learn to do almost anything by working hard and applying yourself.
  5. Love Yourself and Others – James Faust explained this perfectly.  He asked us to ask ourselves, “Am I secure enough to admit my mistakes and graciously accept a compliment? Am I secure in my love of others to smile and say hello to a perfect stranger?”
  6. Love God – Our Father in Heaven, the God of the whole world loves each of us. He sees our potential and He believes in us. If we love Him and trust Him, we will begin to see our own value.

I’m so grateful for these 6 keys because they help me to have real actionable things to do to have higher self esteem. I am not perfect at it, but I am trying to do these 6 things and remembering them is increasing my self esteem and helping me to be a better parent.

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Posted by Frugal Mommy

Hi I’m Heather, a busy, happy and very frugal mom of 8 amazing kids! My journey to become a mom of 8 has been a bumpy one that has included infertility, being a foster parent, adoption, and special needs parenting. I share the things I've learned raising my big unique family.


  1. Heather, I love this! I, too, am very conscious of my mid-life weight gain. I find myself wanting to hide my big body when it’s time to take pictures. I still like my face and smile, though. And my curly hair is cute. 🙂 Thank you for sharing this simple, yet profound, message of what Elder Faust wanted us to remember. Making good choices and focusing our perspective on a positive life, though it be imperfect, inherently raises our thoughts and feelings of self-worth.


    1. Kerry, you are the perfect example. You are beautiful inside and out, kind, loving, incredibly intelligent and talented, a wonderful friend and I could go on and on. You my friend should never feel insecure!


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